Friday, November 7, 2014

A Writer Writes, Right?

This is a question I have asked myself probably a million times.  My husband always tells me, “You’re a writer.  You should be writing.”  It’s like he thinks me writing is a cure-all for all of our troubles.  Well, I’m not so sure about that one. 

I once was a very active writer.  Very active!  I wrote stories and song lyrics.  I still have hundreds of songs written in binders.  Possibly close to a thousand or so.  I’m not sure if I ever tallied up a total for them, but there’s a lot. 

I’ve probably been writing stories since I was first able to write.  I always love it.  To be a writer was once one of my biggest dreams.  I think I first briefly thought of being a nurse, but changed my mind since I have a blood phobia.  (That’s another story, though.) So then I discovered my true aspiration … being a writer.  I honestly don’t think I ever wanted to do it for the money.  It was, I guess, more of a hobby or a passion.  (Yes, I aware that you can make money from hobbies and passions, but I never thought of that kind of stuff.)  So writing became my life.  It was my love and my way of expressing my innermost feelings and perhaps, desires. 

I never realized it until recently that writing was a survival tool for me.  I don’t know if I just took it for granted that it was a part of me and would never go away, or at least be suppressed, but it happened.  Over the past ten years or so I’ve experience quite a few major life changes.  (Again, another story or many stories.)  With time, I have written less and less and the past few years, have pretty much been null and void when it comes to me writing.  I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, but rather more of an emotional block.  I say I’m “emotionally constipated.” 


You may think to yourself that I’m writing write now.  Well … I guess I’m trying to make a comeback.  It’s not easy and I’m struggling, but hopefully, one day the true writer in me will make her way back home again.