This is a question I have asked myself probably a million
times. My husband always tells me,
“You’re a writer. You should be
writing.” It’s like he thinks me writing
is a cure-all for all of our troubles.
Well, I’m not so sure about that one.
I once was a very active writer. Very active!
I wrote stories and song lyrics.
I still have hundreds of songs written in binders. Possibly close to a thousand or so. I’m not sure if I ever tallied up a total for
them, but there’s a lot.
I’ve probably been writing stories since I was first able to
write. I always love it. To be a writer was once one of my biggest
dreams. I think I first briefly thought
of being a nurse, but changed my mind since I have a blood phobia. (That’s another story, though.) So then I
discovered my true aspiration … being a writer.
I honestly don’t think I ever wanted to do it for the money. It was, I guess, more of a hobby or a
passion. (Yes, I aware that you can make
money from hobbies and passions, but I never thought of that kind of stuff.) So writing became my life. It was my love and my way of expressing my
innermost feelings and perhaps, desires.
I never realized it until recently that writing was a
survival tool for me. I don’t know if I
just took it for granted that it was a part of me and would never go away, or
at least be suppressed, but it happened.
Over the past ten years or so I’ve experience quite a few major life
changes. (Again, another story or many
stories.) With time, I have written less
and less and the past few years, have pretty much been null and void when it
comes to me writing. I wouldn’t call it
writer’s block, but rather more of an emotional block. I say I’m “emotionally constipated.”
You may think to yourself that I’m writing write now. Well … I guess I’m trying to make a
comeback. It’s not easy and I’m
struggling, but hopefully, one day the true writer in me will make her way back
home again.